When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?
I just realized all the kids growing up with Spotify don’t have to spend money on specific music anymore, so they probably won’t have the memory of saving up money to buy their first CD and having it be something super cringy…like I think I saved up $15 for three weeks to buy the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack at Barnes & Noble when I was 9 and I was really proud of myself for that. Add your first CD you were way too proud of buying in the tags
The firmer you grasp the fish, the more complete your understanding of sea life will become. Underwater labcoat completely necessary for this step, unlike breathing apparatuses like a snorkel or a regulator. Real marine biologists grow gills upon getting their diploma.
tfw your supervisor shows up and you minimized the questionable windows but didn’t actually close them
Why yes, as a drafter you dont ACTUALLY draw bluerints on paper anymore. Instead you doodle DIRECTLY on the table in front of you. We have to replace our tables at least once twice week and our archives of used deskplates are cramped I tell ya but hey at least blueprint theft isnt as common as it once was.
Also the helmet is mandatory. you never know what shelf with folders above you might spontaneously dissolve or get nicked away cause your colleague couldnt be arsed to grab a new deskplate for that very important project.
We interpreters just wear our headset everywhere we go. Even outside the booth. The cable is at least 500 metres long, so we can move through the entire conference centre without taking it off. Wearing it has become second nature to us; we feel naked without it. We’re standing right in front of our client and they’re not even wearing their headphones? It doesn’t matter. We have to continue to speak into the microphone, so THEY can hear us. THEY are always listening.
Adding a translator one, because why not:
Translators are all hipsters, who spend all day by themselves in dark rooms that somehow look like prisons. We have reached level 10,000 of hipsterness™, we are so retro that we write out translations by hand with a pen in a notebook. Who gives a shit that the clients want digital files? Not us. The aesthetic is more important.
Why yes, I do wear full camo gear in the field and kneel directly on top of any human remains I may be excavating. But at least I put a tarp down first. It’s to protect my knees, not the bones.
You know what we do spend a great deal of the day pointing at poorly done digital brain models while also looking at a structural MRI that can tell me nothing. Ahh yes and in lab coats because for some reason you need your lab coat when you’re at your computer.
being a writer means you astral project into THE VOID, which you write on with sharpie
I dramatically do yoga poses with books while taking a selfie, apparently while inside a 19th-century one-room schoolhouse
…I can’t find a stock photo of my job :(
You know what, I can’t even say that shenanigans like this DON’T happen in restaurant kitchens when we’re having a slow day.
I shouldn’t even have to explain this one
As an animator, I take pride at not using a light table or literally any other paper to animate. At the same time, I draw every individual frame with full detail on the same paper.
